Fernando is my mum's second cousin and son of Rita and Ernesto. Last time I bumped into him he was in Tokyo. He is now doing a PHD researching the conflict in Burma/Myanmar. Unfortunately the authorities quickly deported him when they heard of his research, so he now lives on the Thailand-Burma border, interviewing people as they cross the line. Fortunately for me it meant I had a very well-informed tour guide for this bustling, intricate city.
Two of my main forms of transport were the riverboat, which is a fantastic opportunity to see many of the marvellously decorated temples and buildings from their best side, and the sky train. The sky train is a city-wide monorail that amusingly, as well as the usual signs, also has seats labelled: “Please give up for a monk.” The third most popular form of a transport is the tuktuk (pronounced took-took). They are small 3-wheeled taxis famously cheap, but for one reason only. The reason being that you will never ever be allowed to get to your destination before you have been to that driver's particular sponsor, usually a tailor who will have you measured and fitted before you've had the opportunity to think. Good thing or bad, I was actually quite quickly convinced, and before the end of the week walked away with two perfect-fitting cashmere suits, two tailor-made shirts and four (unfortunately less stylish) neck ties for a mere £170. Unfortunately I have since then regained the 10kg I lost while travelling, but at the time a definite bargain by anyone's maths.
When asking for suggestions from fellow travellers before getting to Bangkok, they had often told me that a thai massage was unmissable to help you relax on your holiday. So when my hostel recommended one two stops away I had to embrace the opportunity.
The attendant showed me in, taking me through a warmly lit corridor decorated with sculptures and fabrics, to a changing room where I was asked to change into some loose-hanging generic pyjamas. Next I was led to a comfortable, dimly-lit room covered in cushions and divided from other rooms only by sets of long hanging maroon drapes.
Eventually the masseuse came in and asked me to lie down on a mattress, before putting me through one of the most painful experiences of my life (definitely the most painful one I've paid for). She pushed her thumbs and fingers into all my muscles and bent and stretched my body in every unimaginable way. It was more like lots of strong pinches than a massage. It felt like it lasted hours, and all the way through I just hoped that the next bit would be better. Neddless to say, I never went back.
The evening was better. It was the King of Thailand's birthday. Apparently everybody loves the king. So much so that every monday pretty much everyone wears yellow in his honour. Once he was seen on tv with a pink shirt, so the following day everyone had pink. There are even 2 minute tv adverts, ending in the tagline: "We love the king." So naturally, today there was a firework show above his palace. It turned out that Fernando had two good friends, BA flight attendants, who had bought a gorgeous penthouse suite overlooking the river and conveniently also the King's palace. They cooked us homemade noodles and beef stroganof which we hungrily devoured.
The next day I did the tourist thing and took an organised daytrip out of Bangkok. Our first destination was known as the floating market. It was a market on the river. Our group of American families and I got into a few long river boats which then punted slowly through the centre of the village. The riverbank was one stall after another selling everything from fruits and sweets, to handbags, pictureframes and jewelry. Everything was beautifully handmade and after you've bartered at least 50% off the starting price, it was all very cheap as well. I bought a lot of presents here.
The rest of the day was various shows and activities including an elephant ride, a diamond museum and a cobra and aligator show. My favourite however was the elephant parade. This was a fantastic show involving very well-trained elephants. The first half was a dramatic war with the elephants raging into battle carrying colourfully armoured warriours who were angrily wielding swords and spears. But the second half had me in tears with laughter as these cheeky-looking elephants came running into the stadium each dressed as a different country's star football player. A giant football then came bouncing in as a hilarious football match commenced. This ended in a penalty shootout with each elephant having their own unique celebration after they kicked the ball into the back of the net. This usually involved some variant on standing on two legs and swinging their trunk.
The last couple of days I was joined by my friend John, who was on his way to Australia but had stopped by in Thailand to catch up with me. We did some exploring and shopping, but mainly it was just really nice to catch up and reminisce about home. But one very memorable thing we did manage to attend was Thai boxing.
This was brilliant. Lots of very short, very fast fights. All the contestants were boys rather than men, but very vicious nonetheless. Before each fight they would both enter the ring dressed with flower chains hanging around their necks and would spend the first five minutes praying on the floor and performing sometimes very amusing dances while screaching. All very strange. After this they collided gloves and a battle of short-sharp kicks and punches would commence until the judges selected a winner.
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