Rangitata

Today was the last proper day spent in New Zealand. The night before was the last time I'd see Paul, Stevi and Jess who had all stayed the extra night in Queenstown. But today I met the Kiwi Experience girls (two Brits: Lucy and Nadine, and two Danes: Rekke and Henriette) who were also here in Rangitata to experience one of only two level 5 rafting trips in the country. As it turned out it was actually quite relaxing: a nice sunny day with some gentle paddling. You could even drink the water and it tasted so fresh. We did manage to flip the boat once, but the water was comfortably warm. Later that evening we arrived in Christchurch, and I flew out the next day.

River surfing

The following day I was tired and I had a headache. It was also the day I had planned to do one of the most ludicrous sports ever invented. Take white-water-rafting but replace the raft with a boogie-board; and now you have an image of what I was was about to undertake with less than two hours sleep and a hangover.

You basically wear a helmet on your head, flippers on your feet, life vest round your waist and hold a plastic boogie board in your hands. You then dive into some very cold, very fast running river rapids and try to hold onto your board until the end.

What was brilliant was that we were actually taught some flash little tricks as we went along. For example, if you hit an oncoming wave you are often thrown into the air and you can, if timed right, do a corkscrew in the air. Some others are if you get caught in a whirlpool, of which there are plenty, just point your board vertically up and you will be twisted rapidly downwards, like being sucked down a plughole, but will emerge back up again after just a few seconds. However my favourite, which was also the most difficult and rare to find, is when water comes from two directions and where they meet a rift is formed. Approaching this rift from the right angle you can push your board down under the water so it is in parallel with your body. As you hit the rift, the water will then pull the board down and you under with it and you can smoothly follow this underwater stream for in theory quite a distance. I was less successful...

Queenstown

The most famous tourist town in New Zealand is Queenstown. You can do absolutely anything here, from canyon swinging and paragliding, to sky diving and caving. It is apparently the only place in the country where you can't claim job-seekers allowance, as there are so many opportunities to work, the authorities will apparently just laugh at you were you to try to claim. In contrast though, it is a very expensive place to live and unskilled jobs are paid very poorly.

Our first day was very amusing, but one of the biggest wastes of money I have ever taken part in. It was the Lord of the Rings tour. Lukas and I were the only two from our bus foolish enough to shell out the 80 or so New Zealand dollars (~£30) for the half day trip, and unfortunately when we turned up we realised we were evidently also the only two in Queenstown foolish enough. The tour involved driving to a number of different sites that had at some point been used to film a scene from the popular trilogy. Example quotes from our guide include: “As you can see by the shape of their tails, these horses were some of the horses from the movie,” and “So this is part of a wood that is clearly almost certainly where they might have filmed the scene where Boromere is killed.” But, to be honest, one site I'm particularly proud of is when we managed to "exactly" replicate a scene with Sam and Frodo from the 2^nd film.

Another quite unique visit was our visit to a town called Paradise. Apparently there is a town in Norway called Hell.

That night was a very big night. It was the night before half our bus was due to head south, while the rest (including myself) would stay another day before heading back north. Some very strong friendships had been formed on that bus, and everybody was going to be very sad to split up. As a result, just to prolong the inevitable, myself, Lukas, Tannith, Barry, Caroline and Jess decided to stay up all night until their bus left at 7. The highlight of which was when Lukas got so drunk that he decided to fully grasp Kiwi tradition with both hands by celebrating Mo-vember (an annual charity dare held in November) by having his head shaved, leaving just a fluffy Mo-hekan like a ferret on top of his head.

Puzzle World

Today was Puzzle World. The most gruelling, sophisticated and misleading maze to ever be build by man. Or so it felt. It was a wooden maze, just below my head in height and in the four corners were four towers; red, yellow, green and blue. You had to reach each tower in turn, but the maze was designed so that walking in the direction of a tower was the least likely action to get you there successfully. However, upon reaching a tower, that was your golden opportunity to scout out your next route from above. In all I believe we successfully managed to reach the final tower in just under 45 minutes. Unfortunately it was the full hour and ten before we managed to retrace our steps and find our way back out again.

I'm glad we did Puzzle World because it allowed me to divert my thoughts away from the planned activity for the afternoon. Good ol' Noddy, our bus driver, had signed me up to a 47m bungee jump. This may not seem a big deal to a lot of people, but anyone who knows me will know that I am terrified of heights, to the extent that I will constantly lean firmly against the wall when stood at any kind of height. So this was a big deal for me. In the end what convinced me to do it was firstly that Noddy would never have let me live it down if I bailed out, but secondly that it was directly over a river canyon, so I could pretend I was just doing a big dive into a pool. It was also the world's first ever commercial bungee jump location and therefore a not-to-miss experience.

As I sat on a ledge overhanging the canyon, a man was casually wrapping a towel-like cloth around my ankles, while asking how much of my upper body I would like to have submerged when the bungee is fully extended and I reach the river below. Apparently it's more of a rough science, so as he clipped on one end of the bungee to the towel-like cloth, I suggested that I didn't really fancy getting wet today. He then helped me up and pointed to the end of the board. After managing to shuffle forward, my feet firmly tied together, my toes over the edge, he said: “look forward, don't look down and when you're ready, stretch out your arms and leap as far forward as you can.” So I did.

Afterwards we went to Queenstown, and I spent the whole evening telling everybody how amazing it was and how I'd do it again a million times over. Whether that's true, well that's another story.

Noddy's fact of the day:

Haast Eagles had 3m wing span and ate the Mori Ori people. When the Mori Ori people started to defend themselves they killed these eagles and made them extinct. The Mauri (the current natives) then arrived, cannibals at this period and ate all the Mori Ori.

Makarora

Today was Makarora. Today was both a good day and a bad day. It was a bad day because we decided to go swimming in the glacier-water filled river which was so bitterly cold that my toes went blue. But it was a good day because Tannith introduced us to the fantastic recipe of broccoli, bacon, pesto, crème cheese and pasta. Try it.

It was also a bad day because today was the day that Lukas' girlfriend emailed him to say she wasn't able to wait for him to come home, and thus wanted to break up (we don't like her very much!). But it was a good day because tonight was Karaoke night!

I like karaoke night because all my favourite kind of people also get excited by karaoke night. Not because they can necessarily sing and not because they necessarily know any of the words. But because it creates an incredible buzz, makes everybody laugh and lets everybody join in.

And for those who are wondering – yes I was horrendous, and no I didn't stop singing when I should have.

Franz Joseph

Today we climbed the Franz Josef glacier. Not to the top, as that would be a week long climb for even the most seasoned mountaineer, but a very interesting one none-the-less. My favourite part about this was how clearly this showed the complete contrast between tourism here in the western world and South America. The views here were incredible, but instead of climbing over crevasses we were walking through them. On top of this, most amusingly, every step of the way there were a team of guides 5 minutes ahead with axes cutting steps for us to walk up. All the way we walked slowly and safely up these steps in single file holding onto the rope banister that had been put up as an extra precaution. After ice climbing in Bolivia, this really did feel like a bit of a glorified kinder garden field trip, but it was a lovely day out.

Today was also the day that Lukas and Paul were going to do their sky dive. They had held out till now as this was the only jump that took place over a glacier, but now the time had come they were both quite nervous. In particular Paul who was pale as a ghost throughout the whole glacier walk, and who barely muttered a word unless directly spoken to. After the hike they both headed to the airfield, Paul at this point close to turning blue. The rest of the story we only witnessed on video – but it was easily the greatest sky jumping video I will ever see.

As the plane takes off, everyone else cheers and waves to the camera, while Paul just looks anxiously out the window before gulping. A minute later and his instructor (the guy strapped to him) taps him on the shoulder indicating they're ready to go. The side door of the plane swings open and the instructor swings Paul's feet out so they are sitting on their edge, their feet dangling below. The camera pans to face him just to show Paul's head tilted back, resting on his instructor's shoulder, refusing to see what awaits him. The jump itself went as is expected: he did all the compulsory screaming and waving. What made his jump particularly interesting was that another guy had decided to jump solo at exactly the same time. So all the way down you saw the other guy spinning around, showing off to the camera. At several points there was a great shot of Paul seemingly dangling mid-air from the other guy's foot.

After the parachute came out they landed in style. To everyone watching Paul had evidently forgotten his fears; he was a new man. That is, of course, until he less gracefully bends over, head between his legs, and throws up.

Hacky Sacking

Today was a hangover. We spent most of the morning being taught how to hacky sack with a bean bag by Yuri. Later we get back into the coach, but I forget to close the baggage compartment door properly. Half an hour into our journey and someone shouts out as the compartment door swings open and my big rucksack rolls out, hitting the road at over 50 miles per hour. Luckily, while it does now look like it’s been dragged through a hedge backwards, no permanent damage occurred. We arrive into Franz Joseph that evening.

Baz Vegas

Tonight was Barry Town. This small town from what we could see is no different to any other very small village. A few farm houses scattered around, with tractors and ploughs parked up and down the road. But one enterprising resident had come up with the great idea of opening a hostel here. A bit of an odd idea one might argue, with it being in the middle of nowhere. But what this entrepreneur had noticed is that it is a long journey from Picton to the grand tourist attractions of the south; a long journey that coach-loads of travellers do every day. So it was clear that his idea is exactly what the coach companies had been looking for.

The hostel was Baz Vegas. And after arriving and having our dinner, six large boxes full to the top with outfits was brought out. Amusingly, it was quite clear that the place was fitted out for much bigger crowds, e.g. a fully packed coach. Our coach happened to be quite low on numbers at this point… to be precise: there were only six of us! (Me, Lukas, Tannith, Paul, Yuri and girlfriend) That meant we literally had a box each. A very amusing night ensued, with everyone wearing multiple outfits at a time, and eventually as drinking games started to get involved, a random dare led to all the hair from the top of my right leg being shaved off. The chafing for the whole of the following week was unbearable.

Picton

Today was our boat ride to Picton. This, except for flying, is still the only way of getting from New Zealand’s north island to its south island. While a very short distance (merely a few hours), this pass opens up to the biggest ocean in the world and as such can be incredibly rough. I don’t know what is normal for this boat ride, but when every third wave would completely cover the 8^th floor windows of the ferry, I was impressed. While plates and cutlery were flying everywhere and other passengers were either lying down or throwing up, we decided the best idea would be to get as low in the boat as possible. And to our great pleasure, at the very bottom was the children’s activity world – a playground full of cushions, slides and ball pools. As all the kids were presumably in no fit state to play, we asked the crew very nicely, and were kindly allowed to spend the remainder of the journey in the playground.

Dutch salt licorice

Noddy’s “fact” of the day:

When Europeans finally discovered New Zealand, over 2000 years later than those now known as the Maori, explorers from every nation quickly migrated to this new found land to claim their own little part of it. What this has led to is lots of tiny country-based villages. So you have German towns, Danish towns, French towns, etc.

Today was a travelling day towards the (very English) rainy city of Wellington, but we did manage to stop by a small Dutch village, where I could buy the most delicious salt liquorice (a particular favourite of mine).

Tongariro Crossing

Today is the Tongariro Crossing. This is a challenging day hike across the famous mountain range surrounding Mt. Tongariro. Of course, by famous I don’t necessarily mean that you will have heard of them by name, but just as a taster: today we passed by the stunt double to Mt. Fuji in the Tom Cruise movie “The Last Samurai” as well as the mountain used as Mt. Doom in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy.

Noddy’s “fact” of the day:

The Maori people always greet each other with the word “Keora!” (pronounced Key-Ora).

Kiwis say “Sweet As!” far too often… especially Noddy (despite being born a Scotsman).

Rotorua

Dropped off Francy and Meike in Rotorua this morning. Rotorua is easily the smelliest town I have ever been to. Its tourist industry comes mainly from the number of geothermal sulphur springs that surround the area. Unfortunately, while they do mean there are lots of relaxing natural hot springs, the whole city does smell of rotten eggs.

In the morning I went Zorbing, which is a popular new sport that involves rolling down a hill in a giant plastic ball. Then in the afternoon I jumped out of a plane from 15,000ft. On top of that, we got a lift back in a limo.

Noddy’s “fact” of the day:

No mammals originate from New Zealand. Every single one was imported. Hence this is why so many flightless birds, e.g. the kiwi bird, have evolved here. The kiwi never had a predator, so had no reason to learn to fly. Unsurprisingly, with the possum being one of their biggest predators, they are now a very endangered species.

Uncle Boy

Today was Waitomo, which are miles of underground caves covered in stalagmites, stalactites, glow-worms and underground rivers. Of all the things you could do down there, we decided to do the Haggis Honking Holes, which in short means “underground abseiling”. Climbing on your knees through the tiny caves and swimming through the over-flooded parts was nothing compared to leaping backwards down a 20m tall underground waterfall where the only light is coming from the small torch attached to your head.

Fact of the day:

Glow worms (a type of maggot) glow because of their faeces. They don’t actually have a poo hole, so instead of excreting it they burn it inside them, thus causing the glow. This glow attracts other animals into the glow worm’s nets and like a spider they can then eat their prey.

Once these maggots eventually become adult their mouth closes up preventing them from eating any more. Without the ability to eat, instead they spend the whole day mating until they finally die of hunger. By this time the glow worms should have laid a large number of eggs. Quite differently to many other species, the first child worms to hatch will actually quickly eat their un-hatched siblings in order to give them enough sustenance to grow up.

This evening was spent at the residence of a local Maori (the indigenous people of NZ) who went by the name Uncle Boy. Here a local dance group from the town came in to teach us how to do the Haka, which you may well know as the intimidating dance the All-Blacks perform before a rugby game.